


Double O Duck in you only crash twice, Phooey Exists.

by KingFranPetty



Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [17]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Bad Humor, Bad Jokes, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Gen, Headcanon, Humor, Jokes, Some Humor, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23596087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: This one might be a little harder to write due to previously established head canons in the Phooey Exists AU. Particularly ones involving Bradford that aren't suitable for all viewers. Warning for implied attempted kiddie diddling, because that's not a tag.
Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647268
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Double O Duck in you only crash twice, Phooey Exists.

From the red glow on the screen, the image turned to Bradford Buzzard. The buzzard spoke bluntly as he got right to business, "McDuck is within the Funzone." Steelbeak took a thinking pose for a short second then went wide eyed. The rooster chuckled, "Boss, You don't have to speak in code to tell us that you are dating someone." The Black Heron face palmed in the background. The heron threw her arms up and shouted angrily, "You idiot! It is clearly code that we've been discovered!!" The screen switched to a picture of Scrooge McDuck inside the Funzone, The voice explained, "I was being literal."

"On a more positive note for you both, you will now have the opportunity to be 'forgiven' for any past mistakes by capturing Phooey Duck." The camera panned to Phooey Duck hugging a balloon for it to pop leaving him sad as the voice pointed out. The red dressed bird cocked an eye before noticing, "Wouldn't kidnapping a duckling get the attention of Scrooge McDuck? Causing him to rescue said annoying brat because he's Scrooge McDuck?" There was a pause. The Cock fumbled as he puzzled, "What's your obsession with the kid anyways? You always talk about this... Phoney? Pooh?"

The screen suddenly returned to Bradford as he boiled loudly, "His name is Phooey and he is incredibly valuable to m!... To our plans for stealing the world." He took a moment to regain his composure. In a more business tone, The vulture ended his speech, "Don't try anything too messy." The screen went completely red. The Scientist grumbled to herself about impossible demands and weird requests. She went to the remote and changed the screen before beginning her speech, "Since I've only explained this three times, I will assume that it must be rexplained."

"This is a rat. It has a brain the size of a pea. Sound familiar?" The red eyed bird remarked with sarcasm. The buff bird laughed and quizzed, "That means it's dumb right?" Ignoring that, the evil mad scientist continued, "With the third eye gem, I was able to dramatically increased it's intelligence." The goon spy next to her seemed confused by the wording. The adult lady tried again, "I raised it's IQ." The adult man remained the same. The shorter of the two groaned, "I made the dumb rat smart." The taller of the two nodded in confirming his understanding and vebralized so, "Oh! Why didn't you say that?"

The metal arm sighed and continued, "With my new ray, I can reverse this. So if we shoot McDuck with it, he'll be dumber than the dummies." After a short evil laugh. Black Heron asked Steelbeak, "So any questions?" The steel beak seemed to have rentered his thinking pose. He hummed for a second then questioned, "Is it just me or did Bradford almost say that Phooey kid was valuable to him?" A metal claw grabbed and yanked a metal beak. "Just get rid of them, stupid." The lady ordered. The male huffed, "I'm not stupid." The man backed up and puffed out, "And I'm not doing this because you told me to. But because there's no trap like a steel trap."

She crossed her arms and glared. He chomped to make noise with his beak. The adult rolled her eyes at her fellow adult. 

Back with Phooey Duck and the said "them," Dewey Duck and Launchpad McQuack were playing a spy video game while the living animation error made sure they didn't get hurt. A reasonable precaution considering both who it was and the future. Of course, perhaps not a job one should leave to a literal child. Scrooge. Things were going smoothly for the three childish people, other than Phooey feeling like there was something terribly wrong. The feeling grew as the little boy noticed a rooster that he never seen before. The yellow beanie went to aware his big brother and the pilot but the stranger had already gotten close to them. 

The two adults and two kids were grouped together around a table. The yellow sweater panicked quietly to his brother, "Big Bwudda Dewey, I don't have a good feeling about this stranger." The blue long sleeve shirt whispered back, "Yeah. Because he's clearly a villain." The two adults continued their digital card game in the background. The yellow one panicked harder in his whisper, "Then get away from the dangerous stranger before he does something bad." The blue one put his hands on his hips and disgarded the warnings. Mainly from believing it was a part of the game. 

The actual spy from the actual secret organization grinned wickedly as he raged, flipping the table over. The error born grabbed the middle born by the wrist to and dashed off for Webby and Uncle Scrooge. However the anomaly didn't get far as his brother happily dragged him into the unknowingly very real game fight. The Glitch protested, "No, Big Bwudda Dewey! You don't understand, this isn't a part of the ga..." The words were cut short as the typo got a closer look at the baddie. The bad guy got up from getting decked and saw the childish kiddie. The fowl chuckled, "The golden ticket to my promotion." The rooster plucked up the golden duckling and rambled, "You get it? Because yer yellow?"

Launchpad punched at Steelbeak again but hit his beak, so reacted with pain. Phooey attempted to struggle out but grew more scared as his attempts failed. The villain went to carry off with the hostage but was quickly reminded of the other duck triplet. About went Dewey slammed a food tray... Thingy into him. McQuack took a hold of the rolly thingy in the blue duckling's place and crashed the fellow adult male into a nearby wall. Also Funso was there but don't worry, he got out of the way. Also the kidnapped kid was safe from this crash. The mistake sat on the food serving roller, shaking a little at the millionth kidnapping getting to his mental state.

The two fake spies were about to collect the frighten child when the baddie got up from wreck. The actual spy kicked the rolly thing into them causing all three to smash through the other wall into the ball pit. The two triplets and one adult male duck fell harmlessly into the colorful, rubber, balls. They sank into the pit and ended up in a secret laboratory. The yellow eyed duckling pulled his bangs away from one eye and noted, "So this is where Blotty disappears to." The suited rooster came in and looked at the pile of ducks on the floor. He grabbed up the largest one and punched his lights out. 

Later, the ducks were in white outfits in holding cells. The beefy duck had just woken up, and he called out, "Dewey? The yellow one?!" The theater kid who very much didn't know what trouble they were in called back, "Launchpad, you are awake!" The more often kidnapping victim cried out loud sobs. The middle child assured without knowing how false his words were, "Don't worry, It's only a game. We'll get out soon. We just have to solve the puzzle." The fake child spy began trying to find a hidden switch in his cell. The fake adult spy attempted to use a rubber band to hit a button, which wasn't working.

The never hatched sniffled, "Why does nobody believe me when I try to warn them?"

The three prisoners sat in their cells, two attempted to escape while the third just rocked in a corner thinking about what was going to happen next. Fortunely, none of his thoughts were correct in guessing the future because some hyper intelligent rodents flew a tiny airship and pressed a button to release all prisoners.

The three ducked cheered at their freedom, The oldest among them silently thanked the rodents who saved them. 

Phooey clung to Dewey as he followed Launchpad. The second born pointed out a scientist, "If that's the mad scientist then where's the ray?" The cock behind them spoke up. The ducks turned around, finding two goons in egg shells and one big goon. Dewey Duck stated without surprise, "There's the ray." The villain did the villain thing and therefore monologued, "I don't really need any of you idiots alive, all I need is the golden egg. Get it? Because he's yellow and a kid?" The sidekick and the trying to be the hero kid went into a struggle between the three bad guys while the odd duck out was trying to decide if leaving to get McDuck was a good idea. 

He didn't get to make that choice because once again Phooey Duck was roped and taken hostage. The ray had been dropped, it was picked up by the baddie and fired to the blue duckling. The pilot had thrown himself in front of the line of fire. The man lay on the ground. Dewey tried to wake up McQuack but figured LP had gotten a game over before Dewey was kidnapped for some reason. Yet Launchpad wasn't dead.

Dewey and Phooey Duck were knotted up and riding in a speedboat on the bay as a spy from an evil secret organization planned to kill one and give away the other. You know, normal day in the duck family. As per typical of any other day, nobody believed the paradox as he attempted to explain the conflict of the episode before the episode had ended. However, something was different about today because now Launchpad McQuack was a super smart super spy. Suddenly... Anyway, Steelbeak and Launchpad were in a high speed boat chase. 

Launchpad attempted to also explain that they were in serious danger to Dewey but couldn't be heard. As again, knowing that would have ruined the conflict for the rest of the season. The suit and tie hit the boat into the other boat in the hopes of making the smart LP crash. LP crashed but this was benefiting to himself as it alllowed him to get closer to the speed boat. The steel trap saw this, making sure to sink the thron. 

Double O Duck followed Steelbeak to the lighthouse from underwater. The rooster had left the yellow duck in boat while he tied up the blue duckling to the stupid ray. The super smart spy undid the ropes on the duckling in the speed boat and climbed the lighthouse to save everyone. The glitch born watched the lighthouse for a while. He couldn't really see what was going on until Launchpad sacrificed his smarts to save everyone and Dewey jumped off the ray on the lighthouse. 

And then suddenly, without any warning... 

They were in Funso's again. That wrong feeling was stronger than ever but the golden eyed duckling ignored it to bolt to his Uncle Scrooge McDuck and Webbigal Vanderquack. He embraced them in a big hug and hoped he would never be separated from his family again. 

The En... 

Oh wait. 

Was I forgetting something? 

Hmmmmmm. Oh well. 

The End.


End file.
